If you are reading this, I’m pretty sure that you must be going through a lot. You might have tried every other thing possible to seek attention from your husband, but it simply doesn’t work.
Although showing less care over time is common in every marriage, if your partner has become completely ignorant, then your query, “My husband doesn’t care about my feelings,” is definitely justified.
A couple I know
Ben and Ava appear to be a happily married couple to society. They have been married for 25 years, and everyone believes things are quite okay with them.
Ben is an achiever who started from scratch, made a name for himself in society, and provided a decent life for his wife and daughter. Ava, on the other hand, is kind and looks after their home and daughter.
It seems like a perfect life, but few people know that Ben is often ignorant. He is always busy with various activities, and even when he has free time, he prefers to do his own thing.
However, Ava, who provides care and attention to Ben, seeks the same in return. She doesn’t want much—just for her husband to listen to her, empathize with her, and join her at her favorite places. But Ben doesn’t even care about that much.
On multiple occasions, Ava has tried confronting Ben with her thoughts, but either he is too busy to listen, or even when they talk about the issues, they both end up fighting. Their daughter has grown up witnessing her parents as an indifferent couple and has lost faith in marriage.
Ava is still holding on to the marriage, but she has become utterly ignorant of Ben. She knows what his response would be and feels there’s no point in talking. Their daughter has gone away to study, and Ben and Ava still live together like strangers, with no emotional or physical intimacy.
Reality of Marriages
That’s how most marriages become after years of staying together. Obviously, every individual and situation is different! But often, unresolved conflicts in marriages come to a point where it seems like there’s no solution for this issue, and hence, you end up searching for “My husband doesn’t care about my feelings.” To prevent this problem from happening, start by looking for:
Signs your husband doesn’t care about your feelings
If you notice and address these signs early on, the situation may never reach a point where you have to search on the Internet for my husband doesn’t care about my feelings. So check:
- If he’s distant quite often
- He doesn’t ask how are you feeling
- You feel like you are chasing him for his time
- Both of you are talking less day by day
- You think no effort from him
- He blames you for everything that goes wrong
- He never does anything nice for you
- You are the first one who reaches out for plans
If you feel any of these changes happening in your married life, it’s time to confront your husband and talk about the issues before it’s too late. However, if it’s already too late, and nothing seems to be working, there are four possible ways to deal with the issue.
1. Increase your care for him
Considering issues between you have just started or haven’t reached a point of no return.
You can cook his favorite food quite often, accompany him to the movies he likes, give him those no-occasion gifts just to make him feel special, plan date nights wherever he is comfortable, and with a genuine heart, try to give him all the love and affection you have.
The reason I’m stressing this is that marriages become regular and boring over time. When the charm disappears and reality hits, you both get back to your routines and forget the ways you used to appreciate each other when your relationship was new.
Compared to women, men are more practical and less romantic. They often do romantic things just because their partner does it. So, when you stop appreciating each other, men go quite very far in it. Also, because of stress and other difficulties in life, it sometimes becomes nearly impossible for them to care for your feelings.
Okay, I’m not advocating one side, but if someone has to ignite the flame again, why not take the lead? Don’t just keep it for a week or a few days; you must pursue this for months for him to notice and get used to the new routine. Slowly, he will feel guilty and start caring for your feelings as well.
2. Seek help from a professional
Unfortunately, if things have gone too far, and whenever you both talk about your feelings, you end up fighting, then you convince him to counsel. Often, you both miss out on the fundamental essence of emotions, and a therapist will help you with the correct course of action. They can help you with:
1. Communication skill training: These will include active listening, using “I” statements, and fair fighting techniques where you avoid name-calling, interrupting, or personal attacks.
2. Empathy building: They will help you with empathy-building sessions in which both of you take turns explaining your feelings, and the other person repeats what they hear.
3. Identifying underlying issues: There are often underlying issues like traumas, dark childhood experiences, past hurts, unmet needs, or insecurities.
These emotions we erase from our consciousness to deal with anxiety; however, they are suppressed in the unconscious mind, causing changes in behavior that your partner wouldn’t even recognize.
4. Goal setting and problem solving: Once you figure out the issue in your relationship, the counselor will help you set goals for it and provide strategies for dealing with issues in the future.
At first, thinking of couple therapy may not sound helpful, but it can make a difference if your husband doesn’t care about your emotions.
3. Ignore him and start taking care of yourself
I mentioned earlier in the story about Ava, who stopped depending on her husband for her emotional needs. She knew that whenever they were going to talk about emotional intimacy, they would fight.
This is the best option in case there’s no possible solution, and you’re dependent on your husband for your survival and security needs.
So keep it to yourself! Instead of thinking that my husband doesn’t care about my feelings, shift that energy to something else. The best thing to do is to learn meditation to control and calm your erupting emotions.
There, you’ll learn about individuality, how we are already disconnected from each other, and how another person’s way of treating you should not affect your emotions. Most people say, “You were born alone, and you’ll die alone.” So why worry? However, to understand it at a deeper level and accept it requires training of the mind, and meditation is the best tool.
If it’s not your cup of tea, pursue your hobby, adopt a pet, plant trees, explore new places, or just somehow keep yourself busy.
When your husband notices that you have started taking care of yourself and, most importantly, that he is being ignored, he might try to understand your feelings. Remember, when you have something new to offer, he’ll definitely attract.
4. Be independent and leave him
Have you tried everything, but your relationship has reached a point where your husband started showing narcissistic tendencies and became abusive? So, it would be better to move on instead of watching your mental health getting ripped apart every single day.
If your husband hasn’t changed in such a long time, there is a rare possibility he will show empathy. Maybe you’re a soft target and his emotional punching bag. If he is enjoying such behavior, then expecting a change is already a lost battle.
So what can you do?
Don’t just take furious action! Think about whether you are strong enough to go through the complications of divorce and survive as a single mother or lady in society. Are you ready to start all over again, like dating another man or accepting his kids, and whether you will be independent or on the mercy of your loved ones?
The best is to be an independent woman if you’re not. Then, you can definitely leave a toxic relationship for your mental peace.
More articles on psychology
How to Deal with a Moody Partner? Easily!
Psychology of Ignoring a Man! Effects on his Emotions
When a Guy Doesn’t Respond to an Emotional Text!
4 Categorial Psychological Questions that Reveal Personality
Conclusion
You may have noticed that there’s a specific solution based on the severity of the situation. For your query “ My husband doesn’t care about my feelings,” it’s difficult to determine how severe the problem is, so I mentioned a solution for each category.
Also, during my research, I found various people commenting on Quora that if your husband doesn’t care, just leave him. Not everyone has to take extreme steps. Remember, starting or ending something is easy but it’s the maintenance that demands your effort.
So, analyze your situation and then follow the suggested steps in this article! Below, you can check the FAQs for our topic, “My husband doesn’t care about my feelings.”
FAQs
1. Feel like my husband doesn’t care about me?
It must be a communication issue or a sign of deeper problems. The best option is to talk to him openly about your feelings.
2. Why doesn’t my husband care about my feelings?
There could be many reasons like he must be stressed, overworked, lost interest in you, and many more. You can have a calm conversation to understand his perspective.
3. Signs your husband isn’t in love with you?
These include emotional distance, lack of communication, and a general disinterest in your life.
4. Why my husband doesn’t love me anymore?
It’s difficult to comment on anything without knowing your specific situation. Sometimes, love fades due to neglect or external pressures.
5. How to tell if your husband loves you?
Don’t follow what he says; instead, look for actions that show he cares, like spending quality time, listening attentively, and making small gestures of affection.
6. Why my husband doesn’t care when I cry?
He might not understand your emotions or feel helpless. In those moments, you can try communicating what you need from him.
7. My husband hurt my feelings and I can’t get over it.
Confront and tell him how his actions affected you. Use the “I” or “Me” statement and show how stressed you are. If you can’t move forward, consider couples therapy.
8. What to do when your husband doesn’t care about your feelings?
Talk to him openly and honestly. If that doesn’t work, consider couples therapy or seek support from a trusted friend or therapist.